Unpopular Westworld Fan Theories

  •  Dr. Ford’s secret new narrative is a lavish musical with dozens of songs and massive dance numbers. He’s keeping it a secret because the hosts’ “jazz hands” code still needs tweaking.
  •  The reason Maeve is able to enlist the aid of Sylvester and Felix is because they are both very, very stupid.
  • The prize at the center of the maze is a free appetizer on your next visit.
  •  The hosts were originally developed by the Hillary Clinton campaign to impersonate American citizens and vote illegally en masse.
  • The Man in Black wants to find the center of the maze so he can achieve 100% completion and unlock the ability to visit Westworld in a clown costume.
  •  The player piano’s music is actually composed by a random algorithm that, by freakish coincidence, perfectly replicates the content of a depressed teenager’s CD collection circa 1998.
  • Many have noted that “Bernard Lowe” is an anagram of “Arnold Weber”; likewise, “Dolores Abernathy” anagrams to “Leathery DOS Baron”, strongly hinting that she may be Bill Gates in disguise.
  •  Lee is actually a super important character who contributes a lot to the story and isn’t unbearably obnoxious.
  •  The hosts weren’t built to perfect artificial human sentience, but rather the artificial human butt. The lack of forward progress on this front was what drove Arnold to despair.
  •  Clementine attacked the Asian host as a result of Theresa secretly installing the #MakeAmericaGreatAgain subroutine.
  • Teddy was able to remember the Man in Black’s previous assault on Dolores despite his memory wipe due to a backup hard drive hidden inside his strong, dreamy chin.
  • Charlotte hides data inside the Mr. Abernathy robot as a misdirection: anyone looking for the data will likely grab the Bill Paxton-model robot instead.
  • The Man in Black is a robot.  William and Logan are robots.  Ashley is a robot.  Sylvester and Felix are robots.  Charlotte is a robot.  Elsie is a robot.  Dr. Ford is a robot.  The entire crew of the show are robots, as are J.J. Abrams, Jonathan Nolan, Michael Chrichton, the entire upper management of HBO, and you.  You are a robot. The only non-robot left in the entire world is that goddamn piece of shit Lee.  MIND.  BLOWN.

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